1. Montenegro, 2. England

You won't read this very often

Montenegro top group G, much as Blackpool once topped the league

Hopefully they won't by about 9.30 BST, but still, England might throw it away...

This could be a lifeline for Wales, depending on how you look at it - supposedly Montnegro are the weakest side, taking three points in Bulgaria could be vital for Wales' hopes, who also need to beat them in their next home game

That is, of course, assuming Wales can actually get to six points - and that Montenegro are the weakest side, from what I've seen, they're better than Switzerland too, but maybe, just maybe we'll beat them at Wembley in a month (and I'm struggling to understand that, why is that a solitary game?)

In other news, Portugal are behind in Norway - not a death sentence but once again they may take this to the wire, 2010 qualifying saw useless bookies offer long odds on realistic favourites Denmark and I made a tidy profit, and guess who is in their group (H) yet again??

In group B, Ireland are looking good after an away win last week and Slovakia won in Russia tonight, they'll be in contention, again

France, already with a home loss to Belarus in tow, are currently struggling against Bosnia, two home games against Luxembourg and Romania up next will surely decide their fate, 3/10 to qualify? Lay, people, lay!

And...Scotland are now behind to Liechtenstein, at home, seriously - and they're already in Spain's group (I), unlucky my arse...Liechtenstein!

'FIFA' rules?

Apparently the idea that Arteta could play for England has been sunk by an obscure FIFA law

Now, forgive me if I'm wrong - wasn't this just a load of media speculation anyway? There's occasionally a few names bandied around when we see Brazilians playing for Germany and Croatia, but isn't the truth that England (and all British teams) cannot field foreigners like most sides can under the FIFA residency rules

There is no such thing as an English, Scottish or Welsh passport, so under FIFA regs any 'Brit' can play for any side, as these teams have no legal identities to distinguish between, the home nations are instead regulated by an old gentleman's agreement that requires a blood tie to the nation

Had you never wondered why Scotland hadn't been gathering up foreigners for years? Apparently Craig Levein tried to cap Shola Ameobi who, as far as I'm aware, has never actually played or lived in Scotland...a neat rule - and ultimately, any talk about Arteta or any other foreigner with no roots here is complete nonsense